Discussing Remarriage with a Child

remarriage

The time may come when a divorced parents elects to remarry. If children are involved in the equation, there are a number of issues to be addressed. Chief among these matters is the need to discuss remarriage with a child. There are some key considerations to bear in mind when it comes to discussing plans to remarry with a child.

Honesty is Fundamental

Generally speaking, children are more intuitive than parents tend to give credit. In addition, children tend to be keen observers. These factors are important to understand when it comes to the decision to remarry following a divorce. The fact is that children are likely to have some idea that a parent is considering remarriage even before the subject is broached directly with the children.

The reality of what a child may already know about plans to remarry underscores the need for a parent to be direct and honest. Lying or even fudging the truth about future marriage plans has the capacity to undermine a parent’s relationship with a child.

Although a child may be unhappy about the prospect of a parent remarrying, those feelings do pass over time in the vast majority of cases. Leaving a child feeling that a parent is dishonest can permanently impair a parent-child relationship.

Age Appropriate Conversation

When it comes to discussing a plan to remarry with a child, one size does not fit all. A discussion of a decision to wed again following divorce absolutely must be age appropriate. A parent simply cannot convey this information in an inappropriate manner and have any hopes of a positive result.

A parent with children of different ages may need to have multiple conversations, depending on the age gap. A discussion that may work for a younger child, will not be suitable for one who is in high school in most instances.

Take All Questions

Children are likely to have many questions regarding the decision of a parent to remarry. Because many of these questions really are rooted in a child’s desire for reassurance and inclusion, it is important for a parent to take and respond to all questions put forth by children.

Marriage and divorce therapists and counselors can be helpful in coordinating the dissemination of information about a remarriage to children. For example, a professional can schedule a session during which the subject of remarriage is discussed in a safe environment.